Toronto, Ottawa – In a refreshing approach to the problems of the poor, all three levels of government jointly announced a “Canada — Tough on Crime” initiative.
“We planned building super jails in anticipation of this new era,” said the Prime Minister to a cheering crowd. “Leftist elements who overemphasize numbers will tell you crime rates are down, but look in your hearts and ask yourselves if these softies know the full story.” He continued, “Rest assured, we are not wasting taxpayer money here. We plan to introduce legislation that makes many more things illegal.”
Tim Hudak added these comments. “Yes, I’m not ‘officially’ elected yet, but I mean come on. Anyway, my chain gangs will both do valuable work like cleaning highway shoulders, laying sand over tar, and watching nubile women wash their cars. It will give the taxpayers real value for their money.”
Ken Furd, attached to The Mayor’s Office, stated, “The squegee kids are gone, next the homeless, then we’ll have a look at people who complain a lot and don’t pay taxes and create jobs.”
The “Canada — Tough on Crime” initiative will be launched soon by a police representative at your front door.