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Posts Tagged ‘Empire Avenue’

What is Empire Avenue? Part 2

October 12th, 2011 No comments

Well, you let a professional amanuensis loose with a task and they try to fulfill it the best way they can. Of course opinions expressed by my amanuensis are not necessarily those of this Web site, etc.

So what is Empire Avenue, really? A way for its founders to make money through offering us, the participants therein, value for trading our personal data for…what?

If you’re engaging in it solely for the purpose of getting the world’s highest stock price, then, sorry to say, I think you’re a bit of a monkey. If you’re in it to (hopefully) meet some cool people and maybe increase your network a bit, and your stock price goes up a bit, then great!

Is it the best way to meet people? Honestly, it’s a fake stock market first, and a social interaction site second or third. Yes, it has communities and chat bolted on, but neither is as easy to use or accessible as something like Facebook or Twitter/Google+. For me, the stock market game is the core of the experience. Maybe if I was more active on the site itself, it might be different, but like I said, I don’t find the “social” bits added on that accessible, so I might never know.

So that makes it (now) an interesting black box that I can fire inputs into and see what the results are, and then alter the inputs to make the results I want (higher stock price) appear. This might make me seem like one of those monkeys, but for the difference that I DON’T CARE. My stock goes down to 1 Eave per share? Gee, sorry investors about all that fake currency you lost. Go add a Firefox or Chrome extension to help you min/max your ROI on the Eaves.

Because sometimes real life intervenes, and then I get the real fun of increasing my value to people in my face to face network. And they return it. Which is something no social networking site can ever trump.

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I Have Two Feet

October 11th, 2011 No comments

Indeed I do, as do most of you reading this. If you do not, my condolences, unless you are happy with the situation.

That should send that all-important stock price through the roof.

Sincerely,

Horton

I Like Cheese

October 10th, 2011 No comments

I suppose I could say more about why I like cheese. But why bother? All I am doing is attempting to artificially raise a share price which itself is based on fantasy.

Some days I feel I should get out of the amanuensis career.

Sincerely,

Horton

What is Empire Avenue?

October 9th, 2011 No comments

I was charged with maintaining an Empire Avenue stock price, but to do that, I first had to determine what Empire Avenue was. As an amanuensis, I am asked to perform various and sundry duties for my employers. Research has become a key player in many of my jobs.

After looking through my pocket edition of the 2000 Encyclopedia Brittanica, it became clear that this “Empire Avenue” was a bit more modern, and I would need to use online methodology. I turned to “Google” and quickly found information on “Empire Avenue”. I then proceeded to look at it on “the web”.

My first view was “Buy and sell your friends”. A shiver ran along my spine. Legalised slavery in this day and age? At the click of a button on a mouse?

Further investigation, however, showed me that it was set up more like a commodities market. You could buy and sell shares in your friends, and vice-versa. Some of the prices were quite high, and I began to marvel at the number of multi-millionaires found online.

Further investigation, however, showed me that real currency was not being exchanged, but some kind of fake money. But what was backing up this fake money? For years, the gold standard served to give faith in real currency. What could possibly serve in the “web” to back up these imaginary numbers?

As it turns out, it is your own blood, sweat, and tears. By typing away on “Facebook”, “Twitter”, “YouTube”, “LinkedIn”, “Flickr”, and something called “blog”, you could generate higher numbers on your own “shares”. By doing this, people who like people who type a lot will buy shares in you, creating a mighty investing circle the likes of which Wall Street would envy.

And with your shares being so high, you can then use that in the real world to…well, that’s where I failed to understand the purpose. Are they to be used to state your position is superior to someone else’s? “Hello, my share price is $82.50 and yours is $41.92, I am afraid we cannot be friends any more.”

So it looks like to maintain a high share price as an amanuensis, all I have to do is type away mindlessly in this “blog”.

The things I must do as part of my profession.

Sincerely,

Horton