I go between performing and swearing off it for life in regular cycles. Right now I’m into a performing kind of mood.
Part of the reason I go off doing it is auditions. I hate them. You go through all kinds of prep for two minutes of time, and then EVERYONE says “Really good”, and then the cycle repeats. But a special part in my flames of torment, nestled deep in my heart, are cattle call auditions. My God. Can there be any clearer way to say to actors “You don’t matter?” Yeah, I know, efficiencies of scale and economy and large volume of applicants. It still sucks.
Improv and clown kind of get around that, in that there is a smaller pool of people doing it, so the unique you that is a performer can stand out more clearly. I blame myself for abandoning those routes.
Well, self-blame gets boring after a while, so I’ve stopped (for now) and throwing myself back into it. Let’s see where it ends up.
It’s been forever since I last auditioned. However, I’m not going to get nervous about it like in previous incarnations.
Per Mamet et al., it’s an imperfect process. (I was going to wax even more eloquent here, but common sense made me stop and start hitting the backspace key.) But, if you want to play the game, it’s the main process out there.
The other main process, of course, is self-production, but that is setting the bar a lot higher. Then you need to get a director on board as well as getting a guarantee the bastard/bitch won’t cast someone else for the good of their vision. (Hey, I direct too, I would SO fire myself as an actor if someone like a young Sting came along.)
Where was I? Geez. Audition. Rust. Looking forward to it.
What a stagewhore.
Was at an audition on Sunday (which I’m fairly sure didn’t earn me a callback) at U of T.
While patiently waiting in the hall while someone else was doing their thing, these two middle-aged women and a man come strolling up.
Now, the only way they could get in there is through a door with a big “Auditions Here!” sign. And they basically had a big hall with nowhere to go except past us waiting actors to the door of the audition room itself. This door had glass with just a thin wooden frame so you could see right in and watch the whole audition process if you were so inclined.
As they passed by, I thought “I should say something.” Immediately followed by “Wait, they might be executive producers.”
They stroll up to the audition hall door. Look in. One says, “It looks like she’s doing an audition.” There is a pause. Another one says, “We’d better not go in.” And then they stroll off the way they came.
So, basically, I have no proof one way or the other.
Man, it felt good to do it again. Sort of act, that is. The audition is a showpiece that highlights certain acting skills. But without a partner and/or a safe environment, it’s not really acting.
Still. Damn, that felt good. I need to book more once NIF is over.
Got a callback (yay!), did pretty well (you can never tell, though), and then they say they will let everyone know by Tuesday.
And it’s Wednesday now and no word.
I know people get busy, but sigh. I don’t mind being told “No, sorry,” but I do mind total silence. You put a lot of work into getting an audition piece together, and I at least want a sense of closure.