Performing, the B*tch Goddess
I go between performing and swearing off it for life in regular cycles. Right now I’m into a performing kind of mood.
Part of the reason I go off doing it is auditions. I hate them. You go through all kinds of prep for two minutes of time, and then EVERYONE says “Really good”, and then the cycle repeats. But a special part in my flames of torment, nestled deep in my heart, are cattle call auditions. My God. Can there be any clearer way to say to actors “You don’t matter?” Yeah, I know, efficiencies of scale and economy and large volume of applicants. It still sucks.
Improv and clown kind of get around that, in that there is a smaller pool of people doing it, so the unique you that is a performer can stand out more clearly. I blame myself for abandoning those routes.
Well, self-blame gets boring after a while, so I’ve stopped (for now) and throwing myself back into it. Let’s see where it ends up.
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